| Dec. 18th, 2007 @ 06:56 pm When you need a miracle, ask and ye shall receive. |
|---|
The past week has been an emotional roller coaster of the like I can't even begin to describe. So, in a chance to process and thoroughly process and grasp all that has happened, I find myself here. Writing. Baring myself for all to see.
And for just a moment, despite that which led up to this moment I can tell you that despite several close calls, I have not lost my faith in life, hope, love, and the universe.
It started a week ago with the death of a woman who was shot by her husband outside of the battered women's shelter she had hidden herself away in. It was the very shelter that I myself sought out safe haven in more than five years ago.
This is where I come in. I volunteer to crisis counsel the staff. It was my last week on call and the staff was changing over for the night and witnessed the shooting.
My phone started ringing within an hour.
Three days later at our holiday Christmas party I received word that one of staff members who witnessed the shooting, who had been my roommate back during my own time there, was unable to handle it. She shot herself in the head and had been rushed to the emergency room.
The world fell apart.
I asked for three miracles.
The first was the strength to get through this on my own two feet without coming undone at the seams and taking everything I built up over the past six years down with me. While bad things have happened while I was counseling, none of them violated this safe place for me until now. And I did.
The second was for her to be okay. The call I got yesterday was one reporting that she had critically missed. She'd shot herself in the head in such a way that the bullet never touched her brain. I was disbelieving until her sister confirmed that she was up and moving about. The only damage she will walk away with other than the emotional are two porcelain an steel plates in her head and the emotional which will heal over time.
The third was for someone to make themselves known in my life and offer me the strength that I had always offered everyone else. What I asked for was much deeper and more specific than that, but strangely enough, I got my third miracle.
I suddenly have someone completely unexpected in my life supporting me and caring about me with strings attached and understanding that while I'm fragile right now, that I'm one of the strongest people in his life.
He only thinks I take on too much and try too hard.
I don't know how not to. But the feeling I've got right now after everything else that has happened is completely indescribable. |
peaceful
